Quiet Revolution (Episode 1)

Two suburban moms go to the Women’s March and decide to lead a revolution back home that threatens everything – and everyone – they love.

SCENE: INTERIOR OF AN SUV

Emma rides shotgun. Looks to the back of the car where posters stick out over the rear seat. A toddler is sleeping, her head rolling back and forth as the car turns down a blockaded street. 

WILLOW

Can you Google “Women’s March”? I have no idea where we’re going. Jesus Christ. You’d think it would be easier to find. It’s a bunch of women organizing this thing.

Emma picks up Willow’s cell phone and enters “Women’s March”

EMMA

Do you think we’ll get shot?

WILLOW

What? Oh my god, Emma. It’s not like we’re Black people. You’d have to be a real a-hole to do something like that. Would you PLEASE Google where we’re going? I don’t want to be late.

EMMA

I don’t think you can be late to a protest. That seems kinda like a misnomer, you know? “Oh, let me check my calendar to see if a revolution works for me tomorrow.”

Emma looks down at the cell phone. The screen isn’t loading.

Maybe it will be a bomb. Like the Boston Marathon. Blow off our legs or something. Not actually kill us but deform us in some horrible way.

WILLOW

Please. Stop. It. I would not take my baby to a place where we might get blown up. Or shot. You’re totally bumming me out. Did you Google where we’re going?

EMMA

The stupid phone isn’t working. It must be all the women trying to get directions. Dudes wouldn’t do that. They’d just drive around until they found it.

Emma looks out the window.

Okay, well, if I get killed, you get the kids. And Justin. You get him, too. He’s only capable of living on his own for two months, tops. After that, he’s a dead man. And the kids would go first. They’d die of starvation or exposure or something. So promise. If I get killed, you take the kids and Justin.

WILLOW

Promise. Now where the hell are we supposed to go? You’d think we’d be able to find THOUSANDS of women…

The car turns onto the next street and stops. People walk past holding signs. 

Finally. Thank god. Let’s park.

SCENE: SIDE STREET

Emma pushes the stroller as Willow walks ahead, both posters slung over her shoulder. They walk to an open park where people are gathering.

WILLOW

Oh my God this is so awesome! We’re at a PROTEST! A REAL, LIVE PROTEST! Look at all these people!

Emma struggles with the stroller as she pushes it over snow and grass. An older woman walks up to them.

OLDER WOMAN

Do you want a pussy hat?

The older woman extends her hands to show them pink knit hats.

EMMA

A what?

OLDER WOMAN

A pussy hat! We’re all wearing them today. I made some extras and thought you might want one.

EMMA

Oh, no. No, thanks. Thanks so much, though.

WILLOW

Oh god, these are FABULOUS! I need one for the baby! Can I have one for the baby? Or is this only for women? The baby is a girl if that helps?

EMMA

Oh no, no, NO you don’t. You will NOT put a p-hat on that baby!

The older woman looks back and forth between them, and then down at the sleeping baby.

WILLOW

Did you just call it a “p-hat”? It’s a PUSSY hat. Seriously. We’re at a Women’s March and everyone here has a pussy. Even the men.

The older woman giggles.

EMMA

Stop it. Put that down. That is NOT okay. You will not put THAT hat on the baby.

Willow puts a hat on herself and the toddler, who starts to wake up. Willow takes another hat from the older woman and continues walking.

WILLOW

She’s my baby and she’s wearing a pussy hat. If it’s the last thing I do, that little girl will be a feminist. Starting today.

EMMA

So now we’re feminists, too?

Willow stops and turns around. The toddler yawns.

WILLOW

Oh my god. Why do you think we’re here?

EMMA

I’m here because you asked me to go. I thought it would be fun. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna burn my bra and wear a p-hat.

WILLOW

It’s a PUSSY hat. Would you wear it if I called something else? Like a “vagina” hat?

EMMA

No! That’s just as bad. And I don’t care what you call it, I’m not comfortable putting that on my head. I don’t care if you use the “p-word” or the “v-word”…

WILLOW

Whoa. Did you just say the “v-word”? Is that what you call your stuff?

EMMA

I don’t really call it anything. I mean, Justin has a cute name for it…but it’s not something I’m telling YOU. And anyways, this isn’t something you talk about in public.

WILLOW

But Emma, that’s why we’re ALL HERE. Because we have VAGINAS. We might as well call this “The Vagina March”!

EMMA

Please don’t say that so loudly. Call it something else. Anything else.

BABY

Bagina, bagina, bagina, bagina….

WILLOW

Like “bagina”?

Emma glares at Willow and then pushes the stroller past her.

BABY

Bagina, bagina, bagina, bagina….

WILLOW

Okay, well, I guess that works. Welcome to the “Bagina March” Emma. Here’s your poster and here’s your bagina hat.

Willow hands Emma a poster and extends a hat. Emma takes the hat and puts it in her purse. They turn and walk into the crowd.

[END EPISODE 1]

EPISODE 2 PREVIEW

Emma and Willow meet a transgender woman who teaches them a thing or two about vaginas.

PS – Share this post with your Women’s March friends!

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